Is baat ko ek tamseel se samajhiye. America riyasat Pennsylvania mein, jahan main rehta hoon, qanoon schoolon ke liye yeh lazmi qarar deta hai ke woh bachon par hone wali kisi bhi qism ki mubayyina tashaddud ya badsulooki ki report foran darj karwayen. Yeh qanoon sirf report darj karwane ka haq hi faraham nahin karta, balki yeh is baat ka sakhti se mutalaba karta hai ke aisi report har haal mein darj karwai jaye. School ke intizami ohdedar ke paas yeh faisla karne ka koi zaati ikhtiyar nahin hota ke woh is badsulooki ki report darj karwaye ya na karwaye. Qanoon use aisa karne par majboor karta hai. Bilkul isi tarah, yeh haqeeqat ke Khuda ne aap ko apne bachon ki ilahi tarbiyat ke liye ek ikhtiyar ke tor par bulaya hai, aap ko na sirf is tarbiyat ka asli haq bakhshti hai, balki aap par is parwarish ki poori zimmedari bhi aaid karti hai. School ke ek intizami ohdedar ke tor par, main aksar yeh mushahida karta hoon ke beshtar walidain apne bachay ki zindagi mein ek sachcha mukhtar banne ke is ilahi jawaz aur ashad zaroorat ko tafheem ke saath nahin samajhte. Is ke bar-aks, walidain mahaz ek mushir ya advisor ka kamzor kirdar ikhtiyar kar lete hain. Misaal ke tor par, bohat kam walidain aisa kehne ki roohani himmat rakhte hain ke: "Main ne tumhare nashtay ke liye daliya tayyar kiya hai. Yeh ek intehai umdah aur ghizaiyat se bharpoor khoraak hai aur main chahta hoon ke tum ise khao. Ho sakta hai phir kisi subah hum koi aisi cheez bana lein jo tumhein zyada pasand ho." Is ke bar-aks, zyada tar walidain bachon ke saamne yun keh rahe hote hain: "Beta! Aap nashtay mein kya khana pasand karoge? Aap ko mera banaya hua daliya nahin khana? Kya aap kuch aur lena chahoge?" Yeh baatein sunne mein to intehai purkashish, narm aur jadeed lagti hain, lekin yahan haqeeqat mein kya ronuma ho raha hai? Bacha ibtida hi se yeh seekh raha hota hai ke asal faisla saaz to woh khud hi hai. Walidain ka kaam to sirf mukhtalif ikhtiyarat saamne la kar mashwara dena hai. Yehi manzarnama chhote bachon ki zindagiyon mein libaas ke intikhab, rozmarra ke auqat-e-kaar ki tarteeb, aur farigh waqt ke mashaghil ke intikhab waghera mein baar baar dohraya jata hai. Jab tak bacha chhe, aath ya das saal ki umr tak pahunchta hai, woh khud apna haakim ban chuka hota hai. Aur terah saal ki umr tak pahunchte pahunchte woh bacha walidain ke qaboo se bilkul bahar ho jata hai. Ab walidain intehai mayoosi aur ghusse mein aa kar bachon ki minnat samaajat kar sakte hain, gidgida sakte hain, israr kar sakte hain, cheekh chilla sakte hain aur dhamkiyan bhi de sakte hain, lekin woh bacha to kab ka khud apna haakim ban chuka hota hai. Walidain bohat pehle hi bachay ki zindagi mein faislay karne ka apna woh aala aur ilahi haq kho chuke hote hain. Yeh sab kaise hua? Yeh kharabi intehai kam umri mein hi dabe paon ghar ke andar daakhil hui thi, jab walidain ne har faislay ko bachay ke saamne ek aisa dastarkhwan bana kar rakh diya tha jis mein se har cheez ka hatmi intikhab khud bachay ko hi karna tha. Kuch log shayad yeh daleel dein ke: "Bachay faislay karna sirf isi surat mein seekhte hain jab walidain unhein khud faislay karne ki ijazat dete hain. Hum to bachon ko achhe aur paaidar faislay karna sikhana chahte hain." Aisi soch is poore muamlay ke sab se aham aur markazi nuqte ko yaksar chhor deti hai. Bachay achhe faisla saaz sirf usi waqt banenge jab woh apne wafadar walidain ko un ki zindagi ke liye danishmandana hidayaat dete aur un ki janib se achhe faislay karte hue ek zinda namoone ke tor par dekhenge.